As Close As I Can Be

It seems that I am as close as I can get to breaking through the mess I have created in myself. Some of it will linger on inside me to remind me of where I have been--a piece of looking glass in which I can peer in order to feel more effectively and connect with myself. I took him to the round pen to try and find some common ground with him. I literally did, but it took time.

I had him circling and was getting him connected to me. When I had him come back and stick to me, he was most certainly very connected. I spiraled into a smaller circle as we cantered. His lower lip was tight, and so was his neck, so I backed off to the trot and waited for relaxation. Then I had him going along around me as I jogged in place around. When he found relaxation, I stopped.

I sat down on the tire and meditated for 15 minutes, half of the session. I was trying to clear my mind--create a void of sorts. Every time a thought came into my mind, I breathed it away with the next exhalation. Finally, I was empty and Blu was all that was left. It felt like he was so close--like we were intersecting. Then I opened my eyes and he was practically standing on me! His hooves were butted up to my crossed legs; his chest was inches from my face, and I realized its radiant heat was why I had started feeling warmth on my face; he neck and head were draped down from his withers down to my back.

Natural Horsewoman Out.