Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Kachow--Pushing Your Boundaries

I can say one thing: some of you may or may not be in for a kick in the head pretty soon. I got my kachow today and it had me reeling all afternoon. I even called Meggie up and chatted with her about it. I also wrote a post about it on my blog.

[b][i]My Blog says:[/i][/b]
[quote]Today I am experiencing emotions that don't feel good. I am afraid, unsure, angry, dissatisfied, with a side of self-contempt. This was all brought on by the book I am reading. The reason I decided to blog about it is because I caught myself searching out the thoughts of others--not by directly contacting them, but by reading various passages and anecdotes they had written--and I realized this is some heavy stuff that I need to own.

These emotions that don't feel good are not necessarily negative ones that need to be chased away like an unwelcome coyote. They serve a purpose, even in today's fast-paced, logic-driven life. My emotions are trying to reconcile something and I need to disallow my mind--my logic--from trying to justify, create false projections or realities, or ignore the flaws that my emotions have honed in on and want me to respond to.

So, I am doing a writing exercise. The first question I need to ask myself is "Why do I feel this way?" or "What is the offender?" I will not publicly share that one, but I have identified it. Now, what do I need to do to satisfy the emotions so I feel back in balance? What boundaries do I need to set?

Okay, here is where I have arrived at:
#1 I do not need to be a Parelli Professional. I can be myself, just like I originally wanted. I do not need to carry the Parelli brand on a license in order to have validation as a horsewoman or a teacher of the way of the horse. No such laws of the universe are written.

#2 I have had success with my horses, and no one in the history of creation can take from me that truth.

Now that I have said all this, I feel better, though still some lingering feelings that don't feel good. But, progress toward feeling better is underway. I will not try to hide these feelings when I go play with my horse(s). Rather, I will continue to own them and keep them out in the open; I will stay congruent.

Natural Horsewoman Out.[/quote]

I did feel much better after writing it.

2 comments:

  1. Mind if I ask what book you're reading? Sounds thought-provoking at the least.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Erica, I am reading Tao Of Equus by Linda Kohanov

    ReplyDelete

About Me

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I am a young horsewoman with a million things on my mind. I have been a student of the horse all my life. As a little girl, I had a desire to understand horses on deeper levels. I believed that there was no such thing as a bad horse, and I believed that all horses were beautiful. One might say that I was a naive child, but I guess I don't have an excuse anymore, because I still believe all of that, and Parelli Natural Horsemanship is helping expand on this perspective.

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