Internal Monologue

So, I had an...interesting internal monologue today when I was playing with Misty. I was working through my program for the day, and all of a sudden, I felt like she wanted me to just go away and never come back. So I went away and I sat there asking myself why I was doing this program with her if she does not like people. She has never gotten to pick anything. She has always just done whatever I wanted. Some time while I was talking myself through why I should not just buy her food and make sure she was always healthy, she peeked inside the door of the building I was sitting in. After that, I began to feel better and come up with reasons that playing with her is a good thing for her. I am a good person, you see. I have things to show her through our relationship about humans. I don't have to worry about these kinds of thoughts from Blu; he adores humans. He tells me what he likes and I know pretty well where we are going together. But Misty throws these at me all the time, and it makes me want to just set her free on a 4,000 acre pasture and not look back (not out of frustration, but out of feeling that is the right thing to do). I love her so much, so that would be hard, but I don't want us to be a thing that I do to her (even if I do it in the nicest way possible via PNH). I don't know, it was a provocative afternoon. (P.S. I went out and we had a good session, during which she gave me things at liberty I really had not expected).

Natural Horsewoman Out.